ARK Misadventures
by Imperfection07
Summary: Summary inside
1. Hair Dye

ARK Misadventures

* * *

Authoress' Note: These misadventures take place in the Sonic Universe and mainly focus on Sonic Adventure 2 or Dreamscape Light and Darkness. The chapters have random insanity taking place and aren't in chronological story order as they get posted.

Disclaimer: Sonic and Co. are (c) SEGA  
Unknown characters like Mona are (c) Imperfection07

Now that that's finished, enjoy the hysteria!

(No characters were actually harmed in the making of these skits)

* * *

Misadventure 1:"_Hair Dye_" 

Everything on the Ark was normal…except for the fact two girls were sneaking around.

"You ready for this?"

"Hehehe…let's try a new color scheme…"

About a few minutes later Mona and Rouge were standing "absentmindedly" by the bathroom. Shadow was walking towards them with towels and a toothbrush. He had yet again woken up from a nightmare about the incident 50 years ago.

"Good morning Shadow!" Mona and Rouge said simultaneously in singsong voices. Shadow only groaned in response before he walked into the bathroom and both girls heard the sound of a shower turning on.

"Gee…he doesn't look that good…" Mona observed.

"Ah don't worry…in just a few minutes he'll change." Rouge smirked.

Inside, Shadow was mainly focused on washing the sweat particles out of his fur with some hair gel he snatched from a store in Station Square (noticeably the one Mona and Rouge messed with). A moment later he had turned the shower off and dragged his feet along the ground, dripping water as he headed into his room.

"What a nightmare…" He moaned, pulling a towel off his spikes. No sooner had Shadow looked into a mirror his eyes widened and twitched.

Let's say Mona and Rouge decided to dump blue hair dye into his hair gel.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The whole Ark shook from Shadow's yell. Well…you'd feel aggravated if your hair color was changed without you realizing it. Especially if was the trademark color of your rival.

That's Shadow's idea of a nightmare…

In another room, both girls were playing "Kings in the Corner" before the door opened to show a ticked off hedgehog. Shadow's black fur and white patch had turned blue and his stripes were now royal purple. His eyes were twitching and his hands clenched and unclenched.

"Hi Shadow!" Rouge smiled.

"Did the shower temperature go below thirty degrees?" Mona inquired, looking as though she had no clue as to what happened.

"Ten second head start…" Shadow snarled, showing his teeth.

Both girls nodded before running out the room.

Eggman continued walking to the restroom whistling before white and violet blurs sped past him. He disregarded it before a blue blur knocked him over.

"What the-!" Eggman sat there stunned. "Okay Robotnik…you're hallucinating. The only people here are Me, Rouge, Mona and…" It took Eggman at least three more seconds before running into the bathroom and pulling out the hair gel.

"Blue hair dye…interesting…" He grumbled beforegoing to the sink and brushing his teeth. What he didn't know was that both Rouge and Mona had put pink food coloring in the toothpaste after they messed with the hair gel.

((((Loud yell in background))))

Fin...

* * *

Hehehe... 

Shadow: (scrubbing himself with terpentine) You're evil...

I know...

PLZ R&R!


	2. Buttons buttons buttons!

ARK Misadventures #2: Buttons-buttons-buttons!

(A.k.a.: "Leaving an eleven year old next to a control panel")

(A/N: Takes place after Mona calls Eggman "_Jerk_man")

* * *

Story Key:  
_Sound Effects  
_**_The ARK Control Panel_**

* * *

As Mona stood at the control panel of the space colony, she became bored and suddenly looked at the flashy buttons. 

"Hmm…press or not to press? That's a tough question…" She said with a half smile as she drummed her fingers. "Now let's see…buttons-buttons-buttons…OOH!"

_Click!_

In a split second, all the lights in the space colony shut off leaving Mona in the pitch blackness with only the light of the six Chaos Emeralds to keep her company.

"Eep! Dark…VERY DARK…**CREEPY DARK**! BUTTON!"

_Click!_

**_Space Colony ARK will now Self-Destruct in five seconds…_**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! NONONO I DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT!" Mona screamed before pressing a whole bunch of buttons.

**_Self-Destruct Aborted_…**

"Phew…"

_SPLAT!_

"What on Mobius was that!" Mona yelped as she was covered in some kind of muck.

**_Coating user with Peanut Butter complete_…**

Mona twinged and slapped all the butter out of her hair and clothes before…

_CRASH!_

_CLANG!_

_(Insert Huge Explosion here…)_

_Tinkle…!_

"Now what?" Mona grimaced as she tried to get some hearing back in her ears.

**_Destruction of Cafeteria complete_…**

"Including the Pizza Rolls?" The girl felt her eye twitching.

**_Pizza Rolls have been destroyed_…**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-gasps for air-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Through the next couple of hours, Mona had to endure Zombie Lima Beans (don't ask), avoid crashing into walls, pretending that she didn't feel the Bio-Lizard's bad breath as she passed it, trying to shut off a warhead that was 'somehow' activated, and trying to find a light switch…

_CLICK!_

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

It wouldn't take a genius to figure out that Mona had seemingly wrecked about 75 percent of the Space Colony within an hour.

Let's all hope and pray that she can somehow fix it within the next six minutes…

* * *

End! 


	3. A Spaceball Parody

Ark Misadventures

_#3: A Spaceball Parody_

* * *

Author's Note/Responses: Okay, sorry about the first chapter. Eggman and Rouge were a bit out of character but I'm trying to get back on track with this episode. 

**Queen of the Sacred Flames:** (grins) Glad you liked it! I hope you keep up on your HP stories! Thanks for the review!

**girlygamer**: Thanks for the review! I'll try to get my character in depth as much as I can.

**Peach the Cat:** Yes, Mona's a human. If you want to see more info about her, you can read the Dreamscape stories if you want to. Thanks for the review!

**Shadow Stalkr**: (pauses) Listen, it takes place DURING Sonic Adventure 2. Sorry if they're a bit out of character but this Fanfiction is meant to be _slightly_ insane. And I know people have done this thing before so why wouldn't it be unoriginal! Thanks for the review...

**Dragonmaster Kyra**: Thanks, I might consider putting one of your characters in. I guess I could give it a shot sooner or later but, it's a good idea. Thank you for the review!

**DarkPurpleDragon**: Yes...I'm evil... (smirks) I can't help it... Thank you!

**LoneGunGirl88**: Thanks, I'm glad to hear they're helping you with the exams since I'm stuck in between tests.Thanks!

(Yes that is the first time I ever responded to any reviews. They sound a bit...repetitive but I did my best. Anyway, have fun with the insanity of this next chapter.)

* * *

The four dark characters were standing near the cannon's control center. Rouge was a bit confused about if this was going to work, Shadow was focused on getting revenge, Eggman was blabbering about "The Greatest Era of all Time", and Mona was transfixed on her Pokemon Silver cartridge. 

"When's he going to stop blabbering?" Mona asked bitterly as her PKMN team tried to weaken one of the legendaries.

"Whenever he wants to I guess…" Rouge commented.

"_Maria…_"

Mona's head shot up and she looked around accidentally having Raichu give a KO to Lugia.

"THE CRAP!" Bitterly she restarted from the saved point and went at it again. "Stupid voice-in-head…"

Shadow tried not to strike the human girl over the head for the insult as Eggman's hand slammed onto the Big Red Button.

The colony shot that same bluish ray out. But the power from the blast gave the colony enough thrust power to send it flying backwards at a fast rate.

Immediately, all four of the characters went flying back into the wall behind them. Fortunately Shadow had spikes...

…or should I say unfortunately?

Rouge almost got her wing impaled, Mona got a nose bleed from crashing her face into the wall, and Eggman…well he got it right in the painful area.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Rouge succeeded in covering both the eleven year olds eyes before she could see the blasphemous scene in front of them as Shadow aimed a sharp kick that flung the fat guy off.

"The Ark's flying backwards!" Rouge shouted as Mona shoved the bat off.

"Waddia mean it's flying backwards!" Mona shouted back, grabbing her Gameboy Color from its place on the wall.

"…" Shadow simply had his arms folded in front of him with a sour look on his face. "_Stupid-stupid-stupid human..._"

"I CAN SEE MY BASE FROM HERE!" Eggman shouted stupidly from the pain affirming Shadow's thought.

"SHUT UP!" Both girls shrieked, Mona from losing concentration on her game, and Rouge due to her losing her nerve at the doctor's newly found idiocy.

"_Oh please don't let that faker see this…_" Shadow mentally groaned, slapping his hand into the middle of his face and backhanding Eggman's stomach out of humiliation causing more pain in the doctor which resulted in a bloodcurdling scream, again resulting in having Mona lose her nerve and throw her Gameboy at his head…

Due to her bad accuracy she nailed Shadow…

"OUCH!"

"Sorry…" Mona whimpered.

* * *

Meanwhile on Earth/Mobius, the three other Mobians continued staring at the sky as they watched the space colony flying backwards at a fast rate. 

"Is it just me or are Eggman and the others getting more and more stupid?" Sonic asked.

"He must be desperate to beat your "Around the World in FIVE seconds Record"." Tails replied with half-lidded eyes.

"That or…he's gone off the deep end from lack of Anger Management." Amy sighed. "I wonder how they're reacting."

* * *

"SOMEBODY STOP THIS THING!" Eggman suddenly yelled once he FINALLY got some sense in his brain. 

"We can't stop…" Shadow grumbled from his position on the wall, still trying to rid himself of the headache that Mona had given him earlier. "We have to slow down first…"

"I DON'T CARE! JUST STOP THIS THING! I COMMAND YOU! **STOP!**" Eggman yelled.

Shadow shrugged and reached for a lever next to him with a sign next to it saying "For Fast Breaks PULL". Rouge grappled Mona and the wall just as the Ark came to a complete halt. Unfortunately this sent Eggman flying into the control panel.

_**CRASH!**_

The other three got down safely and walked to the control panel where they got Eggman to his feet.

"Uh…are you okay _Lard_man?" Mona asked knowing Eggman was too stunned to realize she called him that.

"Yeup…" Eggman nodded stupidly. "Well? Have we stopped?"

"We've stopped." Shadow replied.

"Oh good…why don't we take a five minute break?" Eggman asked.

"Good idea…we'll try to pinpoint the next Chaos Emerald while we're at it." Rouge nodded.

"Goodie…I've got cookies if you want em…" Eggman's voice slurred before he crashed face first onto the ground.

Rouge and Shadow stared at the fat mass laying unconscious on the ground before looking at each other.

"So…who's going to get him to his room?" Shadow asked.

"Don't look at me!" Rouge responded hastily before…

_Blooop…_

"DARN YOU LUGIA! DARN YOU TO HECK!" Mona shrieked once she saw her Gameboy had run out of batteries.

(End…)

* * *

Sorry if this chapter seemed a bit weird... I'm trying to get in better chapters since I finished this about 2 weeks ago. 

Sonic: OO; Two weeks!

Eh...yeah... Oh-kay, I'm going to start on the next chapter. I'm not sure when its going to be done but it would be as funny as the previous chapters. And if I don't update the next chapter before the end of the school year: Have a Great Summer!

Shadow: Yeah...oh and one more thing

What-? (KOed by Gameboy)

Shadow: That's for the hair-dye incident!

Sonic: If she's knocked out, who's going to write the next chapter!

Shadow: ... I ... I didn't think about that...

(gets back up) (stunned)Where am I? Who are you? Who am I?

Sonic/Shadow: Uh-oh...

**R&R!**


	4. Babysitting

Sorry I didn't update sooner. I'm working on a whole bunch of fanfictions at once which is kind of tough since at some point in time my parents would kick me off the computer.

* * *

**Authoress' Responses:**

**LoneGunGirl88**: He-he! Glad you liked it! (Glomps Shadow) Thanks!

**Pop-rock angel**: Yep! That's Mona! She can be a bit clumsy at times. Thanks for the review!

**Dragonmaster Kyra**: Thanks for the Review!

**Queen of the Sacred Flames**: Thank you!

Thanks everyone who read and/or reviewed on the previous chapter!

* * *

Please Note: Mini is a 3-year-old OC that's going to appear in a future Movie Adaptation fanfic. She sounds a whole lot like Penelope from the Hamtaro anime or Eevee from Pokemon. Be warned, she can be a little too cute in this story.  
Please don't steal or say she's your character. 

And if you're an Eggman fan, please don't be offended. You don't have to read this chapter.

* * *

**ARK Misadventures****  
# 4: Babysitting**

In the control room, Eggman was reciting his final speech for when he gets all seven of the Chaos Emeralds. "Now comes the era of the empire of…"

"EGGMAN!"

"…and someone just stole my line…" Eggman paused before shrugging and starting again. "Now comes the era of the empire of…"

"EGGMAN! HELLO! ARE YOU LISTENING!"

The doctor let out a yell of antagonized fury and turned to see the brunette standing at the door.

"What do you want!"

"Uh…since Shadow, Rouge, and I are going to be looking for that last Chaos Emerald…" She started, reaching behind her back at the same time. "…can you please do me a little favor?"

"…like what? Finish your homework for you? Hah!"

"More on the line of…" Immediately a grey fur ball was placed swiftly in his arms. "Babysitting…"

"WHAT!" Eggman got a good look at the ball of fluff asleep in his arms. It looked like a humanoid fox/wolf hybrid with a black button nose, short black hair that reached its shoulders, a white tail tip, and it wore a grayish-white t-shirt and pants.

(If I had a picture of Mini to post on the net, everyone would go: AWWWW and try to hug the computer screen…)

"O-Q…" It smiled before purring.

"Do I have to?" Eggman groaned.

"Yes. I already betted Shadow and Rouge 100 rings that you won't last very long taking care of Mini." Mona smiled. "So I'm going to **trust** you not to have me electrocute you when I get back." Her smile had somehow managed to form into a dark glare.

Eggman nodded hesitantly as Mini continued yawning and smiling contently. He didn't know that an eleven-year-old could be this threatening until just that moment.

"Now remember her curfew's at 7 PM…and if I hear her crying…"

"Okay-okay!" Eggman nodded, still shivering before Mona walked out. Once she got to the door she flashed a very demonic Shadow-like glare over her shoulder as it closed shut.

Eggman gasped a sigh of relief and got up. He cast a look at Mini before rolling his eyes and placing the wolf/fox kit on the cold floor. No sooner had he done that…

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Oh crap…" Eggman swiftly picked up Mini and cradled her, cursing at how ridiculous he was feeling. "This is so humiliating…"

Mini calmed down and began purring again before opening her eyes to show innocent black eyes that resembled an Eevee's before she crawled out of his grip.

"It's just like a FURBY." Eggman grumbled before finding out the puppy was gnawing on his boot. "HEY! STOP THAT!"

Just as Eggman tugged, Mini kept her teeth clenched on the heel; teething all the way thinking it was a game.

"O-Q! O-Q! O-KYOOO!"

"I ORDER YOU! STOP THAT THIS INSTANT!" Eggman restrained himself from swinging the boot around as Mini tugged. Eggman eventually lost his grip and Mini was now chewing on the boot, enjoying herself. The scientist immediately spotted a small parchment in his boot before pulling it out. "Hello…what's this?"

**_Dear Eggman (aka Ivo Robotnik/Kintobor),_**

_**If you are reading this, then Mini must be chewing on your boot right now. Apologies, Mini is STILL teething.**_

_**-Sincerely,  
**__**Mona**_

"How did THAT get in there anyway-OH MY…"

It didn't take Eggman's genius mind too long to realize Mini was on the control panel pressing random buttons as she paced pack and forth.

"GAH! DON'T DO THAT!"

Then one of Mini's smallpaws pressed onto a random red button causing a small spurt of oil to smack into Eggman's face. Mini smiled and started laughing, her tail swinging back and forth making it look like a gray/white blur.

"O-Q!"

Eggman grumbled something not meant for immature ears before swiping the oil off as much as he could.

"Thank god it's only going to be at least two more hours until you go to bed." The scientist muttered before seeing Mini had run off again.

"Oh crud."

* * *

Mini continued running around the halls before sitting down in front of a locked door. 

"Mi-ni?" Her head tilted to the side innocently before hopping onto the door knob and toying with the lock with her paws. "Chu?"

_Click!_

"O-Q!" Mini smiled and wedged the door open part-way before hopping in. Her curiosity was a bit out of hand right at that point.

After taking a few steps, the pup spotted a big serpent-like creature with tubes all over its body and a life support system on its back.

"Nyu?"

* * *

Eggman continued running as fast as his legs could carry his fat body. He didn't want to know what would happen to him if Mini got hurt. His frantic search throughout the ARK lead him to the locked door Mini was at earlier. A chill of horror had him open the door to see… 

Mini and the Bio-Lizard staring at each other?

* * *

Mini's black eyes continued looking at the huge amphibian-like Bio Kaiju (giant monster) with growing curiosity. "Chuuuu…" 

The Bio-Lizard, somehow gaining a separate AI within the last 50 years, sat there as it tried to identify the small animal. Trying to get more data on the subject, it moved its head in closer.

That was when Mini saw the wire connected to its jaw.

"O-Q!"

Eggman's eyes widened when he saw Mini climb onto the wire and hop all over the Bio-Lizard as though it was a huge plaything. The Bio-Lizard, deciding Mini wasn't a threat to its mission, decided to let the pup do as it pleased.

Not even thinking about how the Bio-Lizard might react, Eggman ran towards it screaming.

"I'LL SAVE YOU MINI!"

The Bio-Lizard suddenly turned its huge head towards Eggman and snarled. Mini stopped hopping all over and stayed in one place watching as Eggman tried to dodge the energy balls and tail, ranting every moment or so (cursing how it was all his grandfather's fault and how he should've gotten the Egg Walker earlier). Mini was completely oblivious once she started laughing.

About an hour later, Mini had enough of watching Eggman getting hit by energy balls and slid down the Bio-Lizard's tail before walking out of the room, getting back to the central control room, and falling asleep on the panel.

* * *

A moment later, the other three had come back to the ARK, seemingly exhausted of their failed attempt of grabbing the Chaos Emerald. Rouge had walked back to her own room; Shadow went back to looking at the Earth; and Mona went back to the control room to see Mini asleep, purring. 

"Aw…who's that cutie…aren't you that cute." She crooned before picking up the puppy in her arms and walking off. "Gee…looks like I'm going to lose the bet. Oh well. I've still got over a million rings anyway."

Mini, barely awake, opened one eye and lifted one of her fox-like ears. "Nyu?"

* * *

Meanwhile, the Bio-Lizard had decided trying to fry Eggman was pointless before going into sleep mode to restore lost energy. Eggman was still running around in a circle screaming like a girl as he tried to dodge imaginary energy blasts and tail swings before falling off the platform and being washed into the sewer system. 

"I **HATE** THAT PUPPY!"

**End…?

* * *

**

Please Review!Youcanhug/glomp Mini, Shadow, and my other muses! Well...Mini's at least one foot tall so glomping wouldn't be possible.

Shadow/Sonic/Danny: NO! NOT THAT!

Mini: OvO "O-Q!" (Waggling tail)


	5. Tabasco Sauce Torment

Okay, I'm adding a new chappie!

* * *

Authoress Responses: 

**Dark Dragon Kyra**: I'm still thinking about what FanFic to put your characters in. (Dragon Blue's an idea...since one of my OCs is a sea dragon but it takes place in Sonic X.) Thanks for the review!

**Sassy Sunspark**: I also had a Furby and it was on the second day that I literally chucked the thing out the second story window into the driveway (Not kidding, I really did that). Thanks for the review!

**LoneGunGirl88**: Well, Mini is always there to drive a villain babysitter insane so I definitely think she's definitely in charge. Innocent little fur-ball (Mini: O-Q!). Thanks again!

**Queen of the Sacred Flames**: Glad you liked reading it! (Mini: Nyu O-Q!) Great, she said Thank You before I did...ah well...Thanks!

* * *

**Ark Misadventures  
#5: Tabasco Sauce Torment**

(Neither Sonic nor Shadow actually got _fried_ in this chapter. Those were their stunt doubles…)

Sonic and Shadow were sitting at a kitchen table on the Space Colony. The heroes and villains had decided to call a temporary truce since Sonic had made a bet with Shadow and vice versa. 

The bet had to deal with hot sauce…

Rouge and Amy acted as the referees while Tails, Knuckles, Ivo Robotnik, and Mona were spectators.

"You're going down faker…" Sonic grinned.

"Likewise…" Shadow smirked before three different bottles were placed down in front of them.

"Alright, the game's best two out of three. Whoever manages to suppress their want of water for the longest time wins the round. The three hot sauces used are Smoked Tabasco (burnt taste buds), Tabasco (DISINTEGRATION), and Jalapeño (smoke from nose)." Amy explained.

"Once the round is over you two can rest for about a minute, by which we mean drain the hot sensation." Rouge smiled.

"Hah! No problem! I've tasted spicier…" Sonic beamed.

"Oh really?" Shadow asked before Amy unscrewed the Jalapeño bottle and dabbed a small amount of it on both plates in front of the two hedgehogs.

"Alright, round one…START!" Rouge smiled before starting the stopwatch as Sonic and Shadow immediately swiped the sauce into their mouths.

There was a silence after the two had swallowed it down.

"…how long is this going to take?" Ivo grumbled.

"Wait for it…" Mona and Tails said simultaneously.

Another long pause ensued before Shadow's eyes watered and he clamped them shut, clenching his teeth in the process. Sonic looked around the room and scrunched his face since the jalapeño sauce was beginning to have its effect.

About ten seconds later both hedgehogs were beet red from the heat until both Sonic and Shadow dove for the two water bottles on the table and chugged it down before gasping for air.

"And round one is a tie!" Rouge smiled. Mona and Tails had fallen over laughing their heads off while Ivo and Knuckles suppressed the urge to laugh as well.

"That…was painful…" Sonic groaned with his head on the table.

Shadow promptly sniffed with his head on the table as well. "…I need a tissue…"

"Round two, Smoked Tabasco!" Amy announced, dumping a glob of the sauce onto where the Jalapeño sauce was earlier.

Sonic restrained a shudder while Shadow's eyes did an involuntary twitch. Both were starting to think this was a bad idea…

"Ready…GO!" Rouge started the stopwatch and in a split second the sauce had disappeared off the plate. This worked a bit faster than the jalapeño sauce since Sonic's teeth scraped together as his pupils shrunk to the size of a flea. There was a bit of smoke coming from Shadow's ears before the black hedgehog did a frantic leap towards the sink and dunked his head into the water there.

_**SPLASH!**_

At the same time, Sonic clamped his eyes shut and let out a yell that was loud enough to shake the colony before grabbing his bottle and chugging down a whole lot of the water before slamming the bottle onto the table and slumping against the table.

"And it's a tie, again…" Amy sighed before looking at the blue hedgehog. "Are you alright Sonikku?"

"Just give me a minute for my tongue to heal, Amy." Sonic wheezed before Shadow (waterlogged) crawled back to his seat and checked his tongue which had a whole lot of burns where the sauce had landed.

"Alright the final round, the mother of all hot sauce: TABASCO!" Rouge cried in her announcer voice. Sonic looked at the sauce and let his head fall back onto the table with a **THUMP** while Shadow's pupils shrunk and his eyes twitched again.

"This is going to be painful…" Knuckles commented as Mona sunk lower and lower behind a table that was knocked over.

"Oh I can't watch…" She whimpered.

"Me neither…" Tails shivered and sunk behind the same table, leaving Knuckles and Ivo out in the open.

Amy looked at the bottle in her hands and shivered as the water bottles were replaced by five new ones. "This is going to be painful." She murmured before putting a small glob on the plates, closing the bottle, and diving behind a table with Rouge.

"Ready…" Rouge seemed really unsure right at this point. "…go…?"

With that, the four had ducked down, leaving the echidna and mad scientist in the line of fire as the hedgehogs reluctantly swiped up the sauce.

"…**_YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_**!"

A huge explosion along with two combined yells of excruciating pain ricocheted through the corridors of the ARK before settling down leaving a scorched kitchen and path where the huge flame was. Sonic and Shadow had landed on their backs and were twitching in agony and covered in burns from the extremely hot sauce/flames while Knuckles and Ivo were badly burnt and standing in one place.

One by one the four 'survivors' poked their heads up and surveyed the scene. Ivo and Knuckles coughed before falling backwards at the same time.

"I really don't think there's going to be a 'round four'…" Tails commented.

_End…?

* * *

_

I hope you liked reading this chapter since I'm going to start up a new misadventure as soon as I can!

Shadow/Sonic: (glare at Authoress and pull out aluminum baseball bats) Five minute head start evil one...

(Hopeful) Really?

Sonic: Minutes, seconds, we're terrible at math...

(GULP!) …until then I'm going to run screaming for who knows how long… (Bolts out of room)

Sonic/Shadow: GET BACK HERE! (Give chase)

(Yelling) R&R!


	6. Dead Hedgehog Sketch

Note: I've been watching too much Monty Python lately and I've decided to expand the genre of this fanfic so it's not just going to be taking place during Sonic Adventure 2…

If I didn't…this skit wouldn't sound funny…

Ah, one more thing…this isn't character bashing…I'm just getting back at a certain muse for attacking me with a baseball bat. Because of that, I'm going to be as evil towards him as I can…

Note: If there are any Shadow Fans in the audience…don't form a mob and/or attack me. (Hides)

* * *

Authoress Responses: 

**Silver Horror**: Nice to know you like reading it. Thanks for the review!

**shade2light3**: Thanks!

**Sassy-Sunspark**: I can handle most spicy foods except for _Fire Taco Sauce_. I've had a BAD experience with the stuff… (Shudders at the memory) Thanks for the review!

**Queen of the Sacred Flames**: Okay, here's another chapter! Thank you!

**amyrosefreak10**: Hehehe…I'll see what I can attempt for that scenario you suggested… Thanks for the review!

**Dark Dragon Kyra**: Okay, I updated! Thanks for the review!

**LoneGunGirl88**: I agree Sonic and Shadow's rivalry can be out of control…thanks for stalling them and reviewing!

* * *

**Ark Misadventures  
#6: Dead Hedgehog Sketch**  
(Based on the Dead Parrot Routine)

It was an average day…average time…in Station Square, Mobius…

…well…technically it wasn't since Dr. Robotnik was storming towards a boutique with a cage that had an arm sticking out of it that he discreetly shoved back in before entering.

Sitting at the desk was a white bat who was sitting cross legged with her feet on the counter as she read a magazine titled "Seventeen". She didn't quite notice Robotnik even as he stood in front of her.

"Hello, I'd like to register a complaint…" Robotnik said aloud. Not getting a response he knocked on the counter. "Hello Ma'am?"

"Who are you calling Ma'am?" Rouge asked, tossing the newspaper aside to glare at the doctor.

"Err, sorry I have a cold…" Robotnik coughed before holding up the sack. "I'd like to register a complaint, if you don't mind…"

"Oh, I'm sorry; we're closing for lunch-…." Rouge tried to excuse herself when she spotted the cage.

"NEVER MIND THAT," The doctor snapped, cutting her off. "I wish to make a complaint about this here **HEDGEHOG** which I purchased not **thirty minutes** ago from this very boutique!"

With that he pulled out a certain black and red hedgehog (_by the neck_) who's eyes were currently 'X's and his tongue was lolling out.

"Oh, I see, Shadow the Hedgehog! What's wrong with him?" Rouge asked, curiously.

"I'll tell you what's wrong with him…" Robotnik paused for effect. "He's **DEAD**. That's what's wrong with him."

"No, no, he's resting…" Rouge pointed out.

"Look, BAT GIRL, I know a **DEAD HEDGEHOG** when I see one and I am looking at one RIGHT NOW!" Robotnik held up the corpse, irritated.

"No sir, he's resting." Rouge replied.

"RESTING!"

"Yeah, remarkable character he is; he's the Ultimate Life Form don't you know…"

"The 'ULTIMATE LIFEFORM' crap doesn't enter into it, HE'S **STONE DEAD**!"

"No, no, he's slumbering for sure!"

"…" Robotnik shot her a look before glancing at the hedgehog he was holding onto. "Alright then…if he's _resting_, as you suggest, I'll have to wake him up then…!"

With that, Robotnik held up the corpse and screamed right in his ear: "**HELLO HEDGIE! I'VE GOT A CHAOS EMERALD FOR YOU IF YOU WAKE UP! WAKEY-WAKEY EGGS AND BAKEY!**"

Rouge tapped the hedgehog towards Robotnik as he was busy shouting. "There, he moved!"

"No he didn't! You just tapped him!"

"I did not!" Rouge protested.

"YES YOU DID!"

"I DID NOT!"

"YES YOU DID AND I'LL PROVE IT!" Robotnik snapped before grabbing Shadow by the legs, hoisting the limp form upside down, and screaming into one of the black-pelted ears. "**HELLO HEDGIE! HEDGIE HEDGEHOG, WAKE UP!**"

…before slamming Shadow's head onto the counter like he would a baseball bat…

_WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!_

"**HEEEEEEEEEDGIEEEEEEEEEEE!**"

_WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!_

"**TESTING-TESTING-TESTING!**"

_WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!_

"**THIS IS YOUR 50-YEAR-LATE ALARM CALL!**"

_WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!_

Then he dropped the limp form onto the floor where he remained motionless and continued having those same X's over his eyes.

_KER-**THUD!**_

"Now that's what I call a dead hedgehog…" Robotnik snorted.

"…you just stunned him…" Rouge murmured after a long pause.

"**_STUNNED!_**"

"Hedgehogs stun very easily, you probably stunned the poor fellow just as he was waking up…"

"Look, I've had just about enough of this!" Robotnik snapped, picking up Shadow from the floor and dumping the corpse onto the counter. "When I purchased this hedgehog not too long ago, YOU assured me that the reason for his _lack of movement_ was that he was worn out from falling through the atmosphere and smashing a roof through your shop!"

"Well…he's far away from his home on the Ark, which is in outer space, so he must be homesick…"

"**_HOMESICK?_** WHAT KIND OF TALK IS THAT!" Eggman grabbed the corpse by the throat and shook him. "Then WHY did he fall FLAT on his back the moment I let him out of the cage!"

"Shadow prefers lying on his back if that's what you want to know…" Rouge dismissed him.

"Well…I took the liberty of examining him and I found the only reason why he didn't free himself, was because his gloves were stapled to the side of the cage…"

"I did you a favor. If he wasn't stapled there, he would've attacked the side of the cage with his Chaos Abilities, broken out, and go VOOM!"

There was a stunned and irritated silence from Robotnik as he looked at Shadow then back at Rouge. Then he went right in her face and shouted: "**_VOOM?_**"

"Yes, _voom_…" Rouge replied, trying to keep her cool.

Robotnik immediately twitched.

"**This hedgehog wouldn't go VOOM if 4 Million Volts were sent through him!**" The doctor roared; his face beet red as he released the hedgehog. "**He's bleeding DEMISED! **This hedgehog is NO MORE! He has CEASED TO BE! He's expired and gone to MEET HIS MAKER! This…is an ex-…HEDGEHOG!"

And Shadow just fell to the floor as if to affirm Robotnik's statement…

**THUD!**

Rouge glanced at Robotnik with a disturbed expression before nodding. "Okay then, I'll replace him …" With that, she disappeared under the counter.

"If you want anything done in this town, you'd have to complain until your mouth turns blue…" Robotnik grumbled towards nobody in particular before Rouge popped back up.

"Sorry, we're fresh out of hedgehogs at the moment…" She said with a sheepish expression.

"Oh, I see…I see…" Robotnik folded his arms. "I see how it is…"

He was about to walk off before Rouge continued.

"I've got a slug!"

"……Well that scarcely replaces a hedgehog doesn't it?"

"Okay, if you go over to Tikal's boutique she'll replace Shadow for you…" Rouge said, handing a business card over to Robotnik. Robotnik studied it before shrugging, stuffing Shadow back into the cage, and walking out.

Momentarily, a snicker came from the white bat.

"Nice doing business with you…I wonder how long it will take for that fat-man to figure out where I sent him?"

* * *

Meanwhile… 

Eggman finds himself at the top of Mt. Everest…

"HEY! WHO THE HECK IS SUPPOSED TO REPLACE THIS HEDGEHOG UP AT THIS ALTITUDE!"

**End…**

**

* * *

**Imperfection07: I said I'd update, and here we are. I hope everyone enjoyed it!

Shadow: (walking in/holding ice pack) why does my head feel like it's been used in a game of Baseball?

Imperfection07: THAT is the result of chasing me around the room with aluminum baseball bat.

Sonic: Well...I think your punchline sucked...

Imperfection07: (Irritated) Alright then, if you don't like it...

(Time Passes)

Sonic: (Walks out of TV room before twitching and...) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! (Runs into distance)

Imperfection07: Okay...maybe I shouldn't have forced him to watch Ju-On/The Ring/and Shutter all in one go...wait...I don't even have Shutter!

(Scratching noise from window)

Imperfection07: (Pupils shrink) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (Runs away)

Please Review!


	7. How to Clean a Hedgehog

**Ark Misadventures**

* * *

Well, it appears many enjoyed the previous chapter. Now to respond to the reviews…and apologize for the long wait since it took me at least a few months to think this up and revise it and how hysterical I got in DS2 (I swear I drank too much coffee and summer was starting)…and to Silver Horror that it isn't a Sonic vs. Shadow skit. And to Shadow Lover for the "Dead Hedgehog Sketch" (Overlooking that the reviewer has no idea where I live -unless she somehow comes through the computer screen-). 

**Silver Horror**- I'm continuing after…five or so months. And I've got two unfinished SonicvsShadow skit ideas…which are not very good in my opinion and lack humor. Thanks a lot for the ideas though!

**Shadow Lover**- Okay, I apologized…but I may have to do so again for this next one. And I'm a Shadow-fan-girl too so, CALL THEM OFF! Please…? Thank you!

**A reviewer without a Log-In**- Heck, you guessed right about this next chapter A-reviewer-without-a-Log-In. Someone is definitely going to get kicked in the...err...yeah. Thank you and enjoy!

**shade2light3-** I'm glad you liked it and I hope you and the others enjoy this next skit.

**Dark Dragon Kyra**- He's awake…and in a fowl mood…I don't blame him…I'd be ticked if I was knocked over the head. (LOL) You must've enjoyed it THAT much to laugh that loud and alert everyone in the library. If you enjoyed that then this next bit would probably have readers clutching onto their ribs.

**Sassy-Sunspark**-You're off the site? Aw…I was hoping to see the end of your recent fanfic. But the nice thing to know is you're still reading Ark Misadventures (THANK YOU!). I haven't played Sonic Riders since I'm not a fan of racing games (even if it was Sonic based) but I'll tell you this much: I'm so **_cheesed off_** at Devil Doom I wish I could enter the game with a shotgun and (AAAAAAAAARGH)… And I was **_really_** close to beating him when I lost all my rings and Shadow fell for the billionth time. In short I haven't beaten the game as easily as I did SA2. _SIGH_! Ah well…please enjoy this next skit!

**LoneGunGirl88**- _Run LoneGunGirl88! RUN!_ I'd probably stop the 3-in-a-row-Horror-Movie-Marathon if "Salem's Lot" is put up first –I don't have it but I **WILL** get it! (Even though my mom tells me it gave HER nightmares) -. I also hope I wasn't insane in the last DS2 chapters because I distinctly remember being energetic for summer vacation. (No wonder people stopped reviewing on it. They probably think I DID go insane!) I'm thinking of removing the muse commentaries until further notice if that's the case. Thanks for reviewing!

**Queen of the Sacred Flames**- If you thought **that** was funny then check out this next one! Thanks a bunch!

Okay, ONTO THE SKIT!

* * *

**#7: How to clean a Hedgehog**  
(Parody of How to clean a Cat) 

_Note: This does not work on robotic or cybernetic hedgehogs because they will short circuit when coming in contact with water. It does put up a good light show but there's a high chance of electrocution._

**Step 1**: Thoroughly Clean the Toilet

**Step 2**: Put on the nessisary anti-hedgehog armor so you wouldn't get beaten to death by the hedgehog in the near future.

**Step 3**: Add tons of his/her shampoo to the toilet water

**Step 4**: Find the Hedgehog and tell him/her something appealing (For instance: Chili Dogs/Maria's Revived/Sonic wants to ask you out/I found the Iblis Trigger/etc.) (**_Or you could just settle for: "The Chaos Emerald you had earlier just got flushed down the toilet…" This would have the hedgehog flying into the bathroom_**.)

**Step 5**: Once the hedgehog is in the bathroom which you have cornered him/her in, lock the door behind you and proceed to try and catch the hedgehog within the confined space.

**Step 5**½: Try to avoid his/her homing attacks, hammer, telekinesis, or other powers since you're in a confined space with the hedgehog. **Well, that's why you needed the armor in Step 2.**

**Step 6**: Once you've caught him/her, proceed to force him/her into the toilet. (**This procedure tends to be improvised**.) Once you succeed, slam the lid down and either sit on it or apply another form of weight. (It's a good idea to ask GUN/Eggman if it's possible to borrow a robot for this situation beforehand.) Just keep away from the edges because the hedgehog may try to slash your limbs off with his/her quills/knives/etc.

**Step 7**: Allow the hedgehog to struggle around in the toilet. Don't mind the hedgehog, it's having fun plus it is making a lot of suds. And ignore the yells of profanity (which are obviously being directed towards you).

**Step 8**: Flush 3-4 times for a good power wash and rinse that is effective in this situation. (Don't worry about the bloodcurdling scream. It's common knowledge that hedgehogs **love** water.)

**Step 8½**: If the toilet overflows, call a plumber. (And I don't mean the Mario Brothers)

**Step 9**: Once the wash-rinse is complete, open the door to the bathroom and open the front door while keeping the lid strapped down. (But you could keep the bathroom door closed for optimal amusement –See step 10½-)

**Step 10**: Stand behind the toilet as much as you can and open the lid. The hedgehog will rocket out the room before you can utter his/her name and flee to the outdoors where the hedgehog will dry up.

**Step 10½**: If you've kept the door closed, the hedgehog would either (1) create a gigantic hole in the door that would resemble it's body shape (2) get plastered to the door (3) smash into the door and end up unconscious (4) the door will get knocked down and the hedgehog would be going on a little amusement ride down the stairs…and probably end up in a _door-accident_.  
The worst case scenario will involve the hedgehog ricocheting off the door and flying at you like a frenzied pin-ball thats covered with spikes.

**Step 11**: Take an extended vacation on a very-far-away resort/cruise since the hedgehog (and/or his/her fans) will probably swear to kill you for shoving him/her in a toilet. And its best that you sleep with both eyes open and carry a semi-automatic rifle at all times.

Sincerely,  
Imperfection07 (Who did this earlier to a certain muse and is currently in a body cast)

* * *

Please Review on this Chapter! 


	8. 2007 New Years Special: FIREWORKS!

**Ark Misadventures**  
_SPECIAL_: FIREWORKS!

* * *

The entire Space Colony was a mess. A huge black scorch mark appeared to be blotted to the left of the Ark's nose (having a horrible resemblance to a blackhead) while some debris floated endlessly through space. 

Inside the observatory, 6 figures (identified as a fox, a blue hedgehog, a pink hedgehog, an echidna, a bat, and a fat guy) lay scorched on the ground. Small dissipating fires still sparked on the walls and laboratory equipment and the remaining two figures continued standing up and in place, apparently either stunned or traumatized as they stood in what appeared to be the epicenter of the explosion.

The blackened hedgehog's red eyes were large and cartoon-like and the same went for the shrunken brown dots on the scorched black pre-teen whose long hair was standing on end like porcupine quills and a small 1 inch (and apparently wooden) stick fell to the ground where it instantly turned into ashes when it came in contact to the hard metal floor.

The once black, white, and red hedgehog slowly turned his creaking head towards the once-brunette, coughed, and asked: "Did you have to launch the fireworks INSIDE the ARK?"

End…

* * *

Okay, I finished typing the chapter at (looks at clock for a moment) 12:35 AM. I know, it's _really_**_-really_** short unlike my other skits. Have a happy 2007!

(I'll get to the reviews in the next skit!)


	9. Pilot Light

**Ark Misadventures**

**Review Responses  
Combined 2 chapters…**

**Shade2Light3** – Thanks for the review! (Hands over 1-UP/Phoenix Down/etc)  
**Kelessic** – Thanks!  
**Queen of the Sacred Flames** – Thanks for the review!  
**GinKyofu13** (who I guess was Silver Horror) – Thanks for the review. And the ideas sound good if I was going to put them in other humor fanfics. Hmm…maybe I could post a few as a one-shot (grins at the "truth or dare" idea and bites down villain laughter).  
**LoneGunGirl88** – Glad you're enjoying it. Being a humor writer sounds like a good idea and I heard it is very competitive in some areas. Thanks for reviewing!  
**Ember Rock** – Thanks for the review!  
**Cubic Girl** – Yeah, some of my earlier skits were a bit…random. Thanks for the review!  
**cats-rock-and-so-does-cheese** – Thanks for the review and here's the next chapter!  
**Evil Riggs** – Yes Evil Riggs, I'll admit that some of the skits are a bit mediocre and lack luster (considering I started on it 3 years ago). I'm also trying to improve on it. Thanks for the review/criticism.

* * *

_Skit #9: Pilot Light  
_(Based on a true story) 

It was a normal day on the Space Colony, _obviously_, and it was one of those days when…

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGHHH_!"

…the hot tap suddenly turned off.

Rouge the Bat jumped out of the shower, keeping herself covered with a towel, as she tried to ignore the lingering cold water that was evaporating. The bat had lingering soap and shampoo suds mingling with her white face.

"Oh…SHEEZ that was freezing…" The government spy shivered, trying to shake off the cold before hearing rapid footfalls from outside the bathroom. The door burst open, letting in a gust of freezing air and Shadow. The black and red hedgehog didn't realize the potential danger he was in as he looked around.

"What is going on, who screamed?" The hedgehog demanded before looking directly at Rouge. The white bat had on a demonic glare that could burn down a steel wall which resulted in Shadow swallowing nervously, something he rarely did, and backing out of the room into the hallway. Once he did so, the door abruptly closed and the hedgehog gingerly knocked. "Uhm, Rouge?"

"_**YEEEEEEEEEEESSSS**_…?" The bat-girl replied from the opposite side of the wall.

"Are you okay…?" Shadow squinted at his attempt to sound sincere to his cohort.

"As a matter of fact: NO." Rouge snapped, cringing from testing the cold water in the shower. "First of all, the hot water tap went below zero. And you walked into a bathroom without knocking first!"

"Well it's not my fault these metal doors don't have locks on them!" The hedgehog barked.

"Look, if you want to make it up to me, get the hot water back on!" Rouge replied, trying to get back into the shower but shivering each time she felt cold water. Shadow grumbled not enjoying the fact that this bat-girl was ordering him around before walking to an elevator. The hedgehog scowled, pressing the DOWN button, muttering how the bat-girl wouldn't shut up about it if he didn't, and storming into the elevator before heading downstairs.

* * *

The generator part of the Space Colony was…well…colossal. Shadow had a difficult time navigating through it due to the immense size before eventually… 

"There it is." Shadow stopped in front of a heater which was oddly at least one hundred times smaller than the power generators surrounding them. The hedgehog stooped down slightly and turned his head to the side in order to get a better look at the bottom portion. Shadow huffed, noticing that the flame underneath the heater had blown out.

"Stupid pilot-light…." The hedgehog grumbled before turning the switch off, not noticing the gas was still running. The hedgehog kept his hand on the switch as he kept an eye on the bottom of the heater, muttering about how the scientists were low tech at times and how they could have at least made the heater bigger. Shadow crinkled his nose at the smell of gas, which he disregarded as the massive room's stench, as he turned the pilot light back on…

…**Boom...**

* * *

Back upstairs, Rouge walked out of the bathroom and back in her daily attire as a damp towel was draped over her right arm. The bat sighed contently before noticing the elevator door opening. Rouge then caught sight of Shadow. 

"Oh, Shadow. I decided to take a bath with just cold water and I realized it wasn't that bad and—" Rouge's attempt at chit-chat drew to an abrupt close when she noticed Shadow was…err…a shadow. His form was completely black due to burnt fur and ash covering the hedgehog, and the ash amazingly covered his red streaks. Some of his fur was standing on end and there was a bit of a slightly distinguishable sizzling noise. "Shadow…?"

Shadow glared daggers at the bat before skulking into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Rouge only regarded the long gone hedgehog with a small query.

"What the heck got him so burnt up?"

* * *

7/19/07  
_**Author's Note**_: 

This skit is based on an actual story that my own mother experienced.

She used to live in an old country house and inside the bathrooms were old-fashioned water heaters. So, my mom was taking a shower when the hot water tap turns off. My mother notices that the pilot light is off and tells both my grandma and grandpa. Grandpa inspects the heater and tells them that he can fix it by turning the light back on. Mother, having smelled gas in the air, tells them that turning the light back on is NOT a good idea. Grandma and Grandpa don't listen ("Oh it'll be fine") and Mother flees the bathroom. A bit later, Mother hears a semi-loud **BOOM** and Grandpa steps out without eyebrows and some of his arm hair was scorched off (Mother points out: "I told you so").

At least the pilot light turned on…

Please Review on this chapter!


	10. Hedgehog Hustle

**Ark Misadventures  
**Hello! I'm back after a (looks at previous update) very long dry spell for this fanfic! Sorry to keep you waiting!

**Review Responses**

**Eric Neo Matrix** – Thanks for the review!  
**Silver Horror** – Thanks! Keep up the good work!  
**Cats-rock-and-so-does-cheese** – Thanks! Here's another one!  
**LoneGunGirl88** – Yep, Shadow's usually getting the short end of the stick. XD Thanks for the review!

* * *

**#10: Hedgehog Hustle  
[Rabbit Rampage/Duck Amuck parody**

It was about mid-afternoon in Green Hill Zone. The sun was shining, the flowers were blossoming, everything seemed normal. A blue colored blur abruptly streaked past the surroundings. It didn't notice a gigantic generic boulder sprout up in front of it—

_**CRASH!**_

Sonic the Hedgehog, the fastest thing alive, was flattened against the side of the rock. Both his arms were sticking out on either side of the rock while his face was planted into the side. Obviously in pain, the hedgehog peeled himself off and tried to regain his composure.

"Where the heck did that boulder come from?" Sonic clutched at his bruised muzzle with one hand before turning his attention forwards. Upon seeing the current typist, the hedgehog snapped to attention and pointed accusingly. "Oh it's YOU huh?! Well if you're the one typing this skit then I'm out!"

Sonic abruptly walked past the boulder. "Capital O. U. T. **OUT**!" The hedgehog then walked to the far side of the screen and got set for a run. "So good bye and good riddance—"

No sooner had Sonic taken more than a step further; a concrete wall appeared in front of him.

_**BAM!**_

"What's the big idea?!" Sonic, once again, peeled himself off the generic blunt object and glared while rubbing his injured nose. "I said I'm not going to partake in this! So don't try to stop me!" The hedgehog snapped before leaping over the wall and running several feet forwards—

_**SPLAT!**_

—and into another wall…

Sonic pried himself off. "Watch it you—" The hedgehog found a censor bar across his mouth which he tugged off and threw elsewhere. "Oh! HAR-HAR! Make the audience think I was going to spew a curse word and up the rating! You are such a—" And a mass of censor bars engulfed his face. Sonic seethed silently before jumping up and down screaming incomprehensible words that were thankfully muted by the strips before the hedgehog tore them off and threw them elsewhere.

"You know something?" Sonic pointed, his shoulders raised with one fist clenched around a sign that read: "_I take steroids_." "I ought to tell SEGA on you! You're a menace to gaming society and—"

It was then that Sonic spotted the sign in his hand and threw it with a panicked yell.

"**_HOLY CRAP!_ **What are you trying to do: make me lose my job?!" Sonic tried to keep his cool as he held another sign: "_I eat Cheese for lunch._". "I've been doing the best I could do since 1991 and built up some good will to my video game p—**_EEEEEEEEEEEK_**!" 

Sonic threw the sign a far distance into the background, where it fell with a splash into the water, before turning back. "Okay-okay you made your point! You're the boss! Just don't do anything that would boost the rating beyond the PG level and I'll get to work. So, how's the scene supposed to—"

The hedgehog glanced upwards. His green eyes became focused on a fat flickie that was sitting on a nest that was perched perfectly atop his head.

Sonic grabbed the nest and tossed it, as well as the fat bird, away. "Oh that's funny! I don't suppose you're going to make the next thing you place on my head all fancy!" The hedgehog snapped as he wore a flamboyant hat decorated with feather plumes and looked as though it was from the 1930s.

"_CUT THAT OUT_!" Sonic ripped the hat off his head and threw it against the ground before shooting an irritable look. "I'm serious! What's wrong with you?! Don't tell me you drank sugar-water and are now feeling hyper! That's the lamest—" The hedgehog grabbed the top of his head and pulled off a Santa-Claus hat.

"—excuse—" Sonic promptly removed and threw Dr. Robotnik's goggles away.

"—I have ever—" He pried off an old fashioned diving helmet.

"—heard—" Sonic proceeded to undo a baby bonnet and throw it.

"—in all my—" He gingerly removed Tails and ushered the kit out.

"—LIFE!" Sonic finished as he was inside a gigantic top-hat before throwing it.

"I quit! If this is how you write a fanfic then forget it! I'm gone! Find another character to mess with, you crazy idiot!" The hedgehog then proceeded to stomp off, firing off a rant that contained several words which shall not be repeated in this skit. The Green Hill Zone then changed into an ocean scene that had a floating buoy…with Sonic walking atop the water's surface. The hedgehog halted in place, looked down, yelped, and promptly got a death grip on the buoy…which tilted backwards into the water.

**KER-SPLASH!**

"**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGGGH!!!!!!_**" Sonic flailed in the knee-deep water. "CALL A LIFE GUARD! CALL THE NAVY SEALS! HELP ME! I'M DROW—wait a sec." The hedgehog stopped flailing and looked down at the water. He flicked the surface with minor curiosity before glaring straight at the unknown writer.

"You son of a—" Sonic was promptly knocked backwards by another flying censor bar.

**SPLOOT!**

* * *

The word document was saved and placed in a random folder before getting closed. A certain black and red character couldn't help but chuckle at recalling his rival's reactions to being messed with in the skit as he switched off the computer he was seated at. 

"Heh-heh…faker…"

**END**…

* * *

**Authoress' Commentary**:  
I finally found the perfect theme for Sonic vs. Shadow! One of my ideas included making the two have a thumb war but it didn't seem all that funny. Then, as you can probably tell, I got a better idea from watching Looney Tunes and typed this all out in (counts) a few sittings. Not sure if I should've added more to this but…(shrugs) 

Please Review on this Chapter!


End file.
